Coming out of hiding and braving being present with my most tender aspects has been my liberation from the self-protection strategies of inhibition.
Drawing from the gifts of my own journey, I support people's courage to come out of hiding, to embody their capacity to feel so that they may dance their dreams awake into the relief of connection, intimacy, spontaneity and authority.
I am also passionate about filling in all the gaps in our sex education, supporting people to exercise informed consent in intimacy.
Designed to meet you success programs
Whether you want to rediscover your natural spontaneity, step into your integrity and authority, find out what you really want, release your sexual expression desires or connect with your creativity, I can help you find your way to a more natural, spontaneous and authentic life that is right for you.
I work with people of all genders, sexual orientations and physical abilities seeking freedom from what limits you in your intimacy and sexual expression.
The success of my method depends upon supporting you to develop new neural pathways. In order for this to happen, I recommend the number of sessions over a period of time to make the changes you are wanting to achieve. We will review your progress weekly. Depending on how intensely you would like to work, you can schedule sessions weekly, fortnightly or monthly. In between sessions, I will set you homework and provide email support. You can also request additional hour-long Skype or Zoom sessions in between sessions.
After our free exploration phone conversation or skype meeting, if you decide that would like to proceed further, we book a two-hour in person session to assess and explore what your'e seeking to change. This will involve experiential exercises and bodywork. If you are wishing to be coached on skype we will book a Skype/Zoom assessment session.
During this session, I will assess your needs and together we will create the way forward that best supports your embodiment of your intentions.
To book your free exploration session with me, click here.
I will design with you the best success bespoke plan to suit your needs. All success plans include in between session support, homework schedule, additional skype/phone sessions and the price of professional clinical supervision providing you with all the security and confidence in the integrity of your program.
What happens in a typical session?
Sessions are held in confidence and are between 2-4 hours in length and you will be guided safely step by step into the liberation you are searching for.
At the beginning of each session we create together the content of your session with structured short and long term plans.
You will be guided into deep relaxation and into the areas of exploration through body work, massage, meditations, movement and playing.
Throughout the session, you will receive teachings and relax into your body mind discovering your sexual naturalness. At the end of each session, we have reflection time and home work is set to continue with your somatic opening. Repetition creates the new neural pathways to enhance and create the changes in your life you are wishing to make. Email and Skype support is available in-between sessions.
My life, work and influences
I was born in Africa, in Nigeria, during the Biafran war and raised in Kenya until the age of eight. Twenty-seven years ago, I started working in the adult mental health system in the dark ages of Hackney in the straight-jacket of the medical model attempting to control huge distress. I was there for eight years as part of inpatient and community mental health teams. Hackney was a place where the outsiders lived – people (like me) whose belonging, cultural and racial identity had been uprooted, people navigating loss and change. It only dawned on me why I was working alongside staff and patients from Nigeria and Kenya, when I found myself in tears coming home to my feelings. I had come here to belong again, to support others broken from the trauma of separation. Here I discovered the extremes of what happens to the human psyche and body when we are not held safely when we are experiencing overwhelm. I also worked with people who were self-medicating themselves, supporting them to increase their capacity to feel and trust in life again.
During this time I also worked with people who were preparing to die. I listened very closely to their regrets and with all they were forgiving and making peace with. I listened and learnt that when we don't listen in to what is true for us, it wakes us up in the night – especially at the end when it might be too late.
For some people, these openings come in near-death experiences or at certain ages that mark our lives with a sense of knowing that there's something more. These openings can happen while we are day dreaming or they can wake us up in the night with questions like 'Where am I going?' 'What is my purpose?' and 'What do I truly want to experience in this one precious life before I die?'
I personally witnessed the disaster of never being found and the shame of keeping what is true secret when my father died. The truth will always come out to be found – whether in our own lifetime or in those of subsequent generations. Our wounds will be carried until someone is brave enough to feel the feelings that went underground. And bravery is not all that is needed; we also need witness and kindness to emerge with the most vulnerable parts of our beings. In the words of D N Stern, we need a 'self-regulating-other' who will support us into the embodiment of our feelings. Then we can experience the relief of letting go that which we have held in and held onto, that which overwhelmed us into disconnection.
I am grateful to all the people who have taught me. One of my biggest teachers is Ida Kelarova who held me safe in her ten-day darkness retreat, surrounded by potato fields and pine forests. There I went into my darkness and felt what I hadn't been able to feel alone before. Through her work, Ida has given me the most precious gift of my life – my capacity to feel without overwhelm. This has opened my heart and deepened my capacity to hold others in safety and to go where we need to go in order to flow with life without fear. She taught me that true joy springs from having felt compassion with our sadness and that love is possible when we are no longer in fear.
Central to my practice is facilitating the routes to spontaneity and reclaiming creativity. My children and the children I have worked with have been my biggest teachers in understanding the developmental stages in child development and the creative process and how that relates to our confidence in spontaneity and sexual expression. This was originally born from my trainings in fine art and art psychotherapy and with facilitating art groups for children. Eleven years ago, I embarked on my spontaneity healing with my teachers and pioneers from Shakti Tantra (and now my dear friends) Hilary Spenceley and Sue Newsome, and with Batty Gold ThunderBear and Rose Fink ThunderEagle – my teachers of Quodoushka, which is a vast matrix of teaching about sexuality essential for our sex and relationship education.
I have explored coming out of hiding from shame-less into shame-free. I experienced the Namaste of witnessing myself and others with kindness and to be me without second-guessing how I am going to be received. Only when released from this can we trust our spontaneity. As part of this journey into being seen, I paint people healing body image to be loved as who we are.
In 2007, I was nominated by my dear friend Tuppy Owens, the political sexual freedom fighter, founder of the national Outsiders organisation which supports people living with a disability to celebrate and have access to the support they need to meet their sexual expression and intimacy needs. I won the Erotic Awards artist of the year for my work with the Outsiders organisation healing body image through painting body portraits. I continued to support the Outsiders facilitating sexual freedom events, being part of SHADA (Sexual Health and Disability Alliance) and performing annually at the Erotic awards and the Night of the Senses and one year I was the Mistress of Ceremonies.
I am grateful to Briony Goffin whose compassionate and intuitive guidance, in her creative writing group, has taught me the liberation through writing out our inner dialogues and how we can negotiate with our inner lives when we can share them with witness. This is a vital bridging between our inner and outer worlds and is now part of what I teach and facilitate.
My experience, self study and trainings are also in Sexological Bodywork with my most recent amazing teachers and mentors Joseph Kramer, Deej Juventin and Uma furman. This training has transformed my practice in understanding anatomy, routes to arousal, body mapping, routes to embodiment, gender and sexual roles in intimacy and healing shame. Most of all, this training has supported clarity in creating co-empowered educational intent and agreements.
I have completed Gateways I, II and III of The Deer Tribe Metis Medicine Society, discovering our connections with the natural worlds and healing through ceremony. I have completed the first level training in Sexual Shamanism with Kenneth Ray Stubbs, who is my lifetime mentor in understanding energy and the multi-dimensions of experience.
I began my education completing a BA Hons Fine Art where I healed and expressed the symbols of my soul into being seen and studied feminism and gender politics. My mother gave me the gift of needing this to define who I am and all that I can share with the world. I went on to train in psychiatric nursing and learnt the medical models of intervention with uncontainable unregulated emotional states. After this, I trained and completed a Post Grad. Dip. Art Psychotherapy and learnt more deeply the necessity to find symbols from our souls to bridge loneliness. During this time, I went into Jungian Analysis with the Society of Analytical Psychology and Im deeply grateful to Esther Green, who has now passed over, for supporting my integration. During this time I completed the Introductory year training in Group Analysis with the Institute of Group Analysis and the Squiggle Foundation year training studying the work of Donald Winnicott.
Over the last seven years, I have been training and performing as part of Tarte Noire, one of the world's leading women's Playback Theatre companies that facilitates "intimacy in the community" (Alison Fairlove) and loved being part of a community sharing our stories. As a performer, improvisational theatre has deepened my capacity to be fully present in service of embodying aspects of another's internal world in moving sound sculptures and has challenged possibly every aspect of myself.
I am studying Neuroscience and loving learning about the biological roots of our self protection mechanisms in our reptilian, limbic and mammalian brains and the neural networks between body and mind with my dear friend Dr. Susan Mizen who specialises in the study of psychoanalysis and neuroscience.
I have been gifted with inspirational NLP teachers in Roger and Emily Terry who have taught me how we can re-frame everything in their NLP Practitioner with Evolution Training.
I completed the Aura Perception Analysis training with Harley Swift Deer, dearmoring my mind and learning about the matrix of the "luminous egg cocoon" we inhabit. I completed the fourteen day Recapitulated dearmoring training with Sabina Tschudi and Johannes Schroder which released my body armour into my body flowing in its naturalness.
I am also grateful to John Hawkin who supported a deep articulation of the Reichian body types in relation to the self-protection strategies we are all limited with and how to transform these into gifts.
I teach as part of the Shakti Tantra program and I co-sponsor the first certified UK Sexological Bodywork Training which started in April 2014 and assist and co-sponsor the UK Quodoushka program for men and women learning the natural laws of sexuality.
How I work
Re-routing our sexual energies heals the wounds that keep us separate and lonely and is the FASTEST way to transform us back into the intimacy, love and connection we desire. I am passionate about sex education and teaching anatomy and the male and female routes to arousal which transforms intimacy and informs consent. I have witnessed the magic of the transformations possible when we heal and re-route our pathways to pleasure from ones that were limiting.
I facilitate you, step by step, layer by layer, to feel deeply into what is true and to release the self-deception strategies of protection that keep us hidden. This work releases old wounds and contracted stuck energies and connects you with all that you are dreaming about and desiring for your life.
I hold a safe space where frames of reference that no longer serve you, that held you safe but now trap you, can be lifted so that new ways of being can be explored, experimented and played with. This is a journey for people wanting to live without fears. “If you can't play with it, it has got you!” - Hilary Spenceley.
Imagine your entire body embedded with neuro-transmitters recording your life experiences on a cellular level. All your wounds and all your pleasure are in the mind of your body. We discover together the language and symbolism of your body mind to support your connection with listening in to your natural intuition.
This is a journey into your shadows to overcome your inner and outer tyrants and agreements you might have created inside that you’re not worth loving, that you are going to be rejected, humiliated, betrayed or abandoned. I support you with liberating you from these fears into your naturalness and freedom.
Ethics and supervision
I am in supervision with international teachers Deej Juventin, Professional lead trainer in Somatic Sexology (www.embodiedtherapy.com.au) and Celeste Hirschman, creator of the 'Somatica' method (www.celesteanddanielle.com).
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